A Few Chaotic Words
by Kyletra
Summary: A message straight from the Draconequis' mouth


Hello friends! Can I call you that? I'd like to think we share a special bond after all. You watched me, I performed for you, we all had a big laugh. Oh, how RUDE of me! You have no idea who I am, do you? That the terrible thing about these... computers you humans have created. So impersonal.

I am Discord, embodiment of chaos and being of disorder. Did you enjoy my work in Ponyville? I should hope so, so many of you clamored to view it. And.. what's that? How am I doing this when I'm suppose to be encased in stone? Please, you're so... naive, to think I'd fall for the same trick twice. Somepony WAS turned to stone, but I don't think anyone will miss him. The Prince was not very beloved by the people after all.

But I suppose they still won the game. I can't fool around Equestria any longer, lest they catch on to the old switcharoo. But why bother with boring old Ponyville when there are so many other possibilities! I looked into the other worlds Miss Faust had a hand in creating, they were... momentary fun. The monkey and Him were interesting company for a while, but they were so limited in their scope. They wanted to play with three little girls. They didn't like it when I took away the girls' power with a snap of the talons. "Took away the challenge" they said.

Then I tried the land where the imagination could be real. They thought I was some... lost child's friend. I went with it, enjoying turning the place upside down from within. The big purple beast reminded me so much of the Bearer of Kindness I didn't even bother with my usual mind games. One touch turned him into a raging behemoth. It's shocking how dangerous even the most peaceful creatures become with the right motivation.

It was so delightfully surreal the way the dominoes fell after that. The tall, red one kept apologizing, but when I told him I could repair his arm and eye, so long as he never felt sorry for his actions again... Well, I don't think the smaller friends knew how caring he was to make sure he didn't step on them until he stopped bothering to look. Minor things, but chaos can only grow.

The blue one, oh, never before have I met such a fan! His love for my work, the pranks and frights I gave the lesser friends, filled me with great professional pride. Here's someone who truly understands how much work there actually is in causing mayhem.

Someday I'll go back, to see how things are going. But there's still so much to explore, I'm nearly giddy! All the nice and neat, orderly world you've come up with, they're so fun to pick apart with just a few proper words to the right listeners. I've have some wonderful times in this little future space ship reality. There I'm Q, and it's refreshing to have the more violent aspects to play to. As much fun as the sugar world are to melt, the darker ones are the most satisfying when I finally get them to bend towards disorder.

I think my greatest challenge will be this world though. Kyle was so kind as to never seal the rift fully, which made it so much easier to find this place. Your world acts as a sort of... hub that connects all the others. I can look up an interesting reality and slip into the screen and pop right into the action. Yes, as is obvious by now, I have learned to use your internet.

And what a glorious thing it is! I really must thank you... what did you call yourselves? Bronies, that's what it was. Brother who like ponies. Judging from some of the art, I'd say you like them a little too much. Though I did keep a picture or two of Celestia. No, no, I know. I've seen the theories I loved her and that's why I'm the way I am.

I've read a lot about what you think I do this for. That there's a method to the madness, or that there's a hypocrisy in a being of total chaos and discord planning things out. As any insane man will tell you "Bananas taste like forty." Well, maybe not any insane man will say that. Just the ones I like most. I digress, your ideas and perceptions of me are flawed. I'm just a being of fun and joy! Only, my idea of fun isn't a game of tag, and my joy is others torment.

I find a strong kinship with the group you've dubbed "Anon" though they are misguided. You should always share your name, that way people know exactly who to thank for all the lovely reality altering fun. Though I do disapprove of their use of gore.

Not because I'm some higher morality about it, just killing your playthings means you won't have them the next day. Why, no matter what the condition they were in, I often tried my hardest to keep a pony alive. Once, one fell into the volcano when my grip on the strings slipped. I managed to keep her awake until she'd drifted too far down. She was out of breath and her lungs were on fire. But then, so was everything else!

But I do admit, some rather tickle my fancy. After the fiasco with those ponies, I certainly could use a cupcake. Would you like one? The rainbow frosting is really such a nice touch. The Pinkie Pie of that world certainly can bake. Would you like one? What? Lost your appetite? Such a shame. I'm getting icing all over Kyle keyboard. Not that he's here right now. He seems to be out.

Ah, and now, I have so many other places to play, and not a single other one of them holds the one thing that could stop me. So I thank you humans again! For being so... creatively sterile, and not allowing more than one thing to use a certain idea.

I'm going to be here for a very LONG time... Wait, what ar-

vgjbvjwbvj Damn you ponies!

Ok, ew, frosting everywhere. Sorry guys. Kyle here. I had gone to Equestria for a bit, and to my surprise Pinkie had a party ready. Guess she'd been waiting for me to get curious and try my own dimension jumping. When I came back, I saw Discord typing at my computer, and we dashed back to get the others and the elements. He was not happy to be caught.

And that's not even getting into what he had up on the Firefox. I won't go into detail, but let's just say he likes the pictures of Celestia with a bit more... equipment than she should have. With Luna kneeling in front of the two of them. With one of her own. To let the subtlety drop a bit, the file-name was "Malestia". Make of that what you will.

Now, they're taking the statue back. I don't know what they're going to do about Blueblood, but I think I heard Rarity mutter something about a sledgehammer.

Anyway, sorry there's no story today. All this business with discord's tuckered me out, so I'll be hitting the hay. Er, going to bed. Believe me don't sleep on Equestrian beds. When ponies say it, they mean it.


End file.
